I woke today and realized I have a wonderful life. It is not always the way I want it to be, but I have loved ones around me, a house over my head, and food in my tummy (actually wonderfully yummy food thanks to my sister who is the best cook ever!). What am I complaining about huh? I have some things in my life to make smile, laugh and feel blessed! When I feel like I am not getting somewhere fast enough I need to remember how blessed I am. Cranky Bekki needs a boot in the butt! Today Cricket got out of the back yard and I was mad, I wish I had laughed instead…she showed up in the back yard after I searched for half an hour. She wagged her bum as if to say..”You’re mistaken I was here the whole time..really!” I should have laughed, would have 3 weeks ago. What happened to me?
Time for a reality check I am thinking! I need to get back to the path of enlightenment and relearn what it is to be the joy in my heart again. I forgot for a while. I read a post I wrote some time ago and felt chastised by my own words. (Me was teaching me a lesson in being thankful) Weird right?
I miss my Izzy and I think it had me down for a time. I guess that’s normal, but what is not normal is me giving in to it. No more of this self pity stuff! My life is not perfect, but it is my life and I am proud of the work I am doing to improve it. Changes are coming fast and furious and I may feel like I am being tossed in the waves, but I am not about to give up, I have people who believe in me, even when I am not so sure I believe in myself. I can’t let them down just cause I might be a little scared sometimes but that is no excuse to give up is it?
Ps. I got the job. $11.95 and hour is not to shabby right? (grin) I start July 7th..and I am hoping I do well. Wish me luck. I am turning my leaf over and looking for the sun. 
We all feel cranky, angry, sad etc. sometimes. It’s normal. No-one can be happy-smiley all the time. That’s not normal. It’s denial. And that’s not healthy. Whatever you’re feeling is OK and you are entitled to those feelings. Like I tell my son, all emotions are acceptable. What’s unacceptable is using our feelings to try and justify/excuse bad behavior. I haven’t seen you doing that.
You’re going through a lot of changes in your life, and I would be concerned if your moods weren’t being affected. It’s a perfectly normal response. Don’t be too hard on yourself.
Congrats on the job! That’s really great news.
Awesome! So glad to hear you got the job!
Also glad to hear your mood is turning around. Perhaps you’ll like back on the past couple of weeks as a “bottom” in this part of your life. Now you have a job and are on a path to being who you want to be. It’s all uphill from here and the view at the top is beautiful!
Lottie, you know what? You’re right!! (smile)I got a temp postion and it pays $11.92 an hour..I hope I do ok, it’s business attire and I am soo not the clothes person..(Shay HELP!!!)
Bry, what would I do without you in my ear huh?
Bekki
Congratulations on the job. I’m glad and relieved you got it.
And Lottie said it better than I could have. If a person were bouncy, happy, chipper and giggly all the time after making the decision to leave her husband, getting a divorce, moving 1000 miles away to live with family because she has no money and is unemployed, and being separated from her 6-year-old daughter as a result of this move, I would think that this person isn’t grounded in reality. Feeling sad, discouraged and concerned is a normal response to all of this. I’m glad that things seem to be looking up a bit, though.
Bonnie you really are a peach!