I miss my Shay, since she is not currently online I am wishing I could talk to her. if I were able to talk to her I would say the following..(feel free to eaves-drop)

Shay, can we sit and talk until the wee hours of the morning like we use to? Can we talk about pelvic tilt and make Robert get scared again? Can we laugh when mom hears us discussing sex and goes back the way she came? Can we take chairs from the trash and refurbish them? Can we sneak food into the movies because they charge to much? Can we discuss men and laugh about stories we both know will make you blush? Can we pretend my lack of fashion sense does not make you freaking nuts? Can I tease you about how you secretly wish you were a Victorian lady? Can I swap sensual novels with you and snicker as you roll your eyes and tell me I must read “this” one! Can I sigh recalling the Christmas you and mom painted those houses? Can I grin as you tell me how fantastic your sons are? Can I weep as we recall the past and cherish the present? Can I enjoy you, just freaking enjoy your optimism and unfailing loyalty? Can I Shay..can I?

Can I recall the day Joshua was born, how you went code blue and we thought we would lose you both? Can I recall how brave you were to stand up to Brad, as you refused to tell me until later what he had done, cause you knew I would have killed him right then and there? Can I recall days playing Canasta with Cranberry Ginger Ale? Can I recall arguments that now are completely laughable?  Can I cry as I recall the letter you wrote telling me your baby Makayla died after only a short few weeks of life? Can I Shay…can I?

Can I hug you like I never want to let go? Can I tell people about your strong sisterly love? Your inability to turn away anyone who needs help, just like mom..Can I tell them about your fierce protective nature, your creative eye, your laugh that makes me smile? Can I Shay, can I?

 Can I tell them how much you mean to me? How much we have shared as sisters? Tears, pain, sorrow, joy, laughter, pride, loss, love? Can I make them understand what it means to know someone who accepts me, who sees me, who knew the real me even before I did? You say I am changing and you do not think you know who I am…silly girl! You knew her first! I am the me I was when we were teens, the me I was only with you. The me I was afraid to let out. I think when I meet up with you in Wisconsin you will recognize her right away. She is exactly who you always told me I was. I am the grown up girl you always encouraged me to become. She was inside me all along..if anyone will recognize her shadow, it’s you.

I love you Shay because I know that when you read this you will tell me it wasn’t you…and you will blush, cause thats your way. I want to tell everyone how lucky I am to have such a sister in my life. Can I tell them Shay, can I ?

I have a sister, her name is Shay..she is my best friend..she is my heart! I would be lost without her. God bless my sister!